Pounds lost since May 5: 4.6
Last time I wrote about my diet, I talked about how I’d departed from the path of righteous food consumption and was determined to climb back up the slippery slope. I girded my loins and set forth to fight the good fight.
Then my swain dumped me.
It’s for the best, really. Still, it left a hole. I resisted filling that hole for 2 days. I tried to rationalize it away, then I cracked. I got in the car and went out to pick up a 1.5 quart tub of triple chocolate ice cream. On the way to the freezer, I detoured for a package of fudge strip cookies. Then I grabbed a jar of microwave hot fudge for a triple chocolate binge: crunchy, cold and gooey.
I ate nothing but chocolate for the next 24 hours. It made me ill. I knew it was going to make me ill, and I didn’t care. I wanted to be nauseated and bloated, and for the world to leave me alone while I ate my ooey, gooey chocolate.
I could have bought a half-pound of cacao with what I spent on junk chocolate. But I wanted the cheap stuff. Junk chocolate is my friend in low places.
Chocolate works. They’ve proven it with science. Cacao is brain food and mood food. If I’d had some on hand, I might have been able to derail that little escapade. Cocoa would have worked. I was out of that, too.
People under stress revert to old behaviors. Science has proven that, too. It’s in my nature to turn to food for comfort. I enjoy food too much. I enjoy sharing food with the people I love. I can’t be one of those people who consider food only as fuel.
The trick, I think, is to focus more on quality than quantity, and to develop go-to treats that aren’t carb and chemical mother-lodes. Treats that satisfy in low doses. Like the recipe below for raw fudge.
In case you’re wondering, I’m fine now. I went back to the grocery store and this time I have restocked my fridge with better choices. This morning I had a Chocolate Cherry Banacado> Right now I am eating Curried Black Beans, not chocolate.
Raw Chocolate Fudge
Mix equal portions of cacao powder and coconut oil (you can substitute cocoa powder for the cacao)
Sweeten to taste with raw honey
Add walnut or pecan pieces, if desired (walnuts are another brain food)
Smooth in a flat dish with sides, making a layer that is no more than an inch thick
Harden in the fridge.
Store in the fridge and cut off a small piece as needed. It’s very rich!
Note: heating the oil and cocoa or cacao will make for a smoother texture, but will destroy nutrients in the cacao. Cocoa powder has already been heated, so add this step if you like. I prefer not to have another pan to wash.